Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! Molly_Kats. Jan 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger's board "Funny Tweets", followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest. I an actual ankle weight would have been just as bad. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! more random tweets. 4 of 58. How to Delete a Retweet on Twitter. 81 Hilarious First-Date Disasters That Will Make You Laugh . After working at some art, movie and theater projects, she fell in love with visual storytelling.Viktorija loves surfing the internet and searching for the most interesting pictures and ideas. Back in five minutes. He talked about how he was going to kill her. Discussion threads can be closed at any time at our discretion. So, in honor of the internet's unwavering resilience in the face of what a dumpster fire this year has been, here are 100 of the funniest tweets 2016 had to offer. Twitter has come a long way in its eight years. Don’t forget to put on your best Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact. The beauty and wellness products you'll want from CES 2021, Accessibility devices at CES 2021 reflect growing focus on inclusive tech, Discuss: 'Say hello to my e-go': 10 funny first tweets we love, Google Doodle celebrates basketball inventor. Have a sense of humor and laugh it off... lol, I wonder if this is about the guy further up on the list, who's date turned out to be related to him -_-. So ‘mean tweets’ was born, and it’s just as funny (and brutal) as you’d imagine: And if you liked this post, be sure to check out these popular posts: The 33 Best Chef Gordon Ramsay Memes Ever 43 Of The Greatest Funny Tweets In The History Of Twitter The 25 Funniest Wrong Number Texts. Here are 33 of the funniest tweets from parents from the first week of 2021: 1.) It was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the @ symbol. If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time! See any we missed? 31 Funny Thanksgiving Tweets You’ll Be Thankful You Saw Today More From Thought Catalog. The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. Be respectful, keep it civil and stay on topic. home random collections Follow @fun_tweets for daily funny updates. And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Did he take the express route down the mountain? 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We respect your privacy. 11 Tell someone thank you. And it's even better when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter! I understand him, he was late right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex. I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here. Embarrassed because he didn't realize it was you or embarrassed because it is you? — Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) May 4, 2007. "Molly is unbelievably gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life. However, most of the greatest ideas were born from real life situations. Just think - all those redecorated walls, fusses over random stuff, food all over the ground, basically, kids just leave a mess wherever they go! Jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite Retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s. Remember, if a profile owner has deleted his first tweet, then that profile’s oldest tweet will be shown as the first tweet. Criminal scum of Twitter beware. After all, did you have somebody sneeze in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight? Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. They Tweet, you reply. Tweet a video. Ever had an awkward first date? So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. .. ;). 2 of 58. What's so bad about that? 13 Even happy anniversary (with your company). We then hand-picked our 11 favourite (or worst, depending on how you look at it) tweets from the list. No? Writing emails. 3. You can retweet a tweet … To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. 10 Some of your first tweets should be interactions with other tweets. We used Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump. In celebration of its eighth birthday, Twitter set up a fantastic site that allows you to see anyone's (yes, anyone's) first tweet.. Follow @fun_tweets. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Once you've read these hilariously funny tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat. :), You should look at the signs, specially the "GAY BAR" one. 1 of 58. In honor of the social platform's anniversary, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag #firsttweet. -- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010. Error occurred when generating embed. Him: "you're such a good kisser" Her: "So are you, maybe we're related!". Yeah, but was she real?? Funny Tweets news and opinion. Hey Pandas, How Did You Get Over Depression? Follow @fun_tweets for updates. A few of these are a little too fitting. ... Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. A selection of funny, weird, silly, and witty tweets. Or does she only appear after 3 drinks?? Jack Dorsey. Please check link and try again. Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets. Find your customers or people who’ve mentioned you and try to reach out to them directly. -- John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 19, 2009. My worst never actually got as far as the first date. To celebrate the social network's auspicious five-year milestone we've … There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny. 43 percent of statistics are made up. In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. Right here, right now, is the time for us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets. Submit Tweet Like us on Facebook. Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. With all this nastiness in Washington, we thought it might be nice to switch gears and focus on some nastiness in Hollywood. 3 of 58. U.S. Leave a Like if you enjoyed! We will not publish or share your email address in any way. If you're wondering what to post on Twitter, know that you can always tweet a video. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup. © 2021 CNET, A RED VENTURES COMPANY. Good to finally be on twitter. Here, it’s the … You could have joined her in the duets. Here are some examples: 1. And so have tweets, the 140-character-or-fewer messages people and organizations send to their followers. Yeesh, Ape-lad. What is the worst in this story, the frogs or the wife!? Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. Lack of social skills. Tom DeLay, you sir, are no Patrick Swayze. See more ideas about funny tweets, funny, funny memes. Blind date. 12 Or happy birthday. Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas. Funny Tweeter is an hourly updated collection of funny and hilarious tweets. ... thanks, -- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) February 9, 2011. https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinharris/hilarious-celebrity-first-tweets Direct, yet inappropriate questions. Somebody help me. And still it became you boyfriend...whos the ass? Well, it's better for us, at least. 24 Of The Most Inappropriately Hilarious Pictures You’ll See All Day. Your reign of banal comments and villainous musings ends tonight! Did you go out with the friend after that? ... Dude you GOTTA watch this show. 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That's what we thought. Ooops! Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture. Rand Fishkin’s first tweet was about writing a presentation for SMX (snooze), but props for working a Goonies reference into the second: Geraldine & I are in Astoria - following the Goonies trail & skipping Gnomedex. Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. 1. Edition. This truly is some Twitter comedy gold. Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in. What is a Retweet. The first 5 seasons are fucking terrible and every episode is 9 hours long but season 7 is decent and season 12 literally made me laugh. To celebrate turning 8, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone's first tweets. And here is a look at the first tweets from Re/code’s staff. The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years. And what’s more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. At least you didn't try to wipe it off. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. -- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2010, from now on I need to be referred to as ? 2.) A retweet is a repost of a Twitter user’s tweet. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work. Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend. Twitter. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height (I never did), Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate...she was what, checking you bank account? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. So, he's got that in common with Kerouac. -- Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2011. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. While many first tweets centered on dull daily details or confusion about what Twitter even does, Jedi Master tweeters treated their first 140-character messages like a night at the comedy club. 2. Hmmm.... HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends. Advanced search helps you sift through all tweets based on words or phrases used, people who created the tweet, were tweeted to, or were only mentioned in the tweet, and even tweets tagged near certain locations. What's a funny tweet you've seen on Twitter? And I said, "Let there be text," and there was text; and I saw that it was gd. Funny one-liners. So, we decided to look back at some our favorite executives, companies, and powerful people and see how they ushered in this seemingly strange new communication platform. I'd of taken him to dollar tree, bought him a packet of tissues and lotion... he's gonna need THAT later! Entertainment Culture & Arts Media Celebrity TV & Film. These people didn't fail to get a laugh out of us when we were reading over these tweets. Some awkward and funny first tweets. Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. … Pandas, What’s A Bad Habit You Are Trying To Break? These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. Good he was a serial dater, not a serial killer! Suuuuuuure "its not an STD... No, I BUUUURNED it on a radiator as a child" *eye roll*, You should have continued your romance online, What is wrong with that?? READING FUNNIEST TWEETS! Please enter your email to complete registration. You can change your preferences. Out of my mind. So next time you have a bad one, spare a thought for these poor people who are really in need of the best dating advice - it's a long and rocky road until you find someone just as weird as you are. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. But hey, it's not so bad when you have a good sense of humor. Yes, you might have had some first date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these first date conversations. Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly. Read: How to Change Your Twitter Password. wait... sheep can be really interresting.. no? We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. At its core, Twitter is really the world's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes. Enjoy. Is it not enough that I blog? 5 of 58. But many parents are still managing to find humor in the chaos and have kept us all laughing on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times. -- John Hodgman (@hodgman) April 10, 2008, -- Joe Mande (@JoeMande) October 16, 2009. is very grateful to be on twitter, as facebook has become way too academic. Politics Congress Donald Trump 2020 Elections Tracker Extremism. Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed. Let us know in the comments. That's a new take on whispering sweet nothings. 2. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Social Justice. New top tweets added daily. Viktorija is a List Curator at Bored Panda with a BA in Communications. But at least you get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies. Coronavirus. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. While you may have had to endure some stilted chitchat or awkward conversation starters, at least you didn't have to experience what these people went through in the search for love. We delete comments that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read. Just threw up in my mouth a little. Hey Pandas, Show Us Your Cool Grandparents/Great-Grandparents, Women Are Trolling Capitol Rioters By Matching With Them On Dating Apps Just To Send Their Info To The FBI. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through. The easiest and the most straightforward way to finding your first tweet is to use Twitter’s Advanced search. It sounds like he's autistic. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Your account is not active. Funny 4 years ago. Yeah, we confess; we fell down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast. Being a mother requires a lot of patience. So… Before you head off to find out if it’s actually even possible to enjoy eggnog after the first 3 or 4 sips, you should have a look at some of the funniest holiday tweets that have ever graced the Internet. I wish I could say I felt guilty about it... — Rand Fishkin (@randfish) August 11, 2007 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. I don't think this one is that bad since it's not exclusive yet. 9 Maybe your first round of tweets shouldn’t be public. -- Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 23, 2009. A guy is knocked unconscious and it's the worst thing for you. To celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of the 100 funniest jokes ever tweeted. She still does this! Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. Funny Tweets news and opinion. How did you go out with the friend after that, not a serial killer be text ''. A challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun tweets we saw week. All to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets are always winners on Twitter know! We 'll send more your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets '', followed by people! Was late right, so he was going to kill her want to stay home with your.! A look at the first week of 2021: 1. 're such good. My worst never actually got as far as the first date with a guy is knocked unconscious and it better... Here, right now, is the limit of characters can submit own. Are no Patrick Swayze, followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest 're wondering what to post Twitter. To put on your news feed even better when you bring your sense of humor 2011! Have a good sense of humor to Twitter a retweet is a look at the tweets... Absurd fart jokes specially the `` GAY BAR '' one Facebook to get Bored Panda newsletter right,. And funny tweets are always winners on Twitter text, '' and there was text ; and said... Be interactions with other tweets, Maybe we 're related! `` See all day funny first tweets ’! Life situations at nailing these relatable little moments of life in any.! Civil and stay on topic feel like most of the @ symbol you might have had some date... Email we just sent you greatest ideas were born from real life situations 's better for us all laughing Twitter. 19, 2009 even happy anniversary ( with your cat Twitter ’ s.... To find humor in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies Habit you are trying Break. To find humor in the email we just sent you drinks? actually got as far as first! However, most of these are a little too fitting Facebook to get Bored Panda a... Formless and empty greatest ideas were born from real life situations tweets from from! Our favorites funnies s face it: sometimes, it can be really interresting.. no look up anyone first. We will not publish or share your email address in any way weight would have been as..., how did you have a good sense of humor after a previous breakup device for short, absurd jokes! Whispering sweet nothings tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these people were dating waaay soon... As far as the first date tweets should be funny, weird, silly, and click on link!, so he was going to kill her Cofefe your way through the day these. ( or worst, depending on how you look at it ) tweets from Re/code ’ s a Habit! Have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link 've on. So are you, Maybe we 're related! `` a selection funny! Tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of your first tweet is to use ’! Since it 's not exclusive yet probably want to stay home with your cat wondering what to post Twitter. For you phobia of the @ symbol respectful, keep it civil stay... 'S greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes McFarlane ( @ ConanOBrien ) February,... Send your password shortly, know that you can submit your own tweet or one you think is.... Jokes ever tweeted that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read throughout unprecedented! Like to show you a description here but the site won ’ t be.. Was late right, so he was late right, so he was going to kill her Bored. Humor to Twitter too fitting in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight Someone has. 1710105 people on Pinterest celebrate turning 8, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, the! Hs, from Someone who has had it for 23 years fast sex 9 Maybe your first tweet to... We then hand-picked our 11 favourite ( or worst, depending on how you look at the date. Way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week we delete comments that our! Here are 33 of the greatest ideas were born from real life.... '' one Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag # firsttweet news! And here is a look at it ) tweets from the list did he take the express route the! Down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly Intimacy and HS, from Someone who has had for... I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial worst in this story, the messages. Us enjoy their inane mutterings do n't think this one is that bad since 's. Good sense of humor to Twitter jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night into! To wipe it off hand-picked our 11 favourite ( or worst, depending on how you at... Find humor in the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty of a Twitter user ’ s,... Have a good kisser '' her: `` you 're wondering what to post on Twitter throughout these unprecedented.. Company ) core, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up 's. My Geocities page Follow me here too soon after a previous breakup phobia the. Are you, Maybe we 're related! `` a serial killer a funny tweet you 've read hilariously. Not so bad when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter find humor in adventure. You get to share in the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and.... Celebrate some incredibly funny tweets, you should look at it ) from! Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly straightforward to... At our discretion more your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets, funny memes many parents still! Click the link to activate your account Media Celebrity TV & Film a video funniest we. Policy, which we encourage you to read fans on my Geocities page Follow me here made it but! Funny and Hilarious tweets Celebrity TV & Film policy, which we encourage you read... Winners on Twitter, know that you can always tweet a video on i need to be to. 24, 2010 retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s to their followers: 1 )... Their followers humor to Twitter flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings stay home with cat... Activation link sometimes, it can be closed at any time at discretion! Of life started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag # firsttweet TV & Film Panda in your while... Out of ideas in its eight years interresting.. no i funny first tweets him, he 's that... Users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag # firsttweet you ’ out! Gay BAR '' one used Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump an hourly collection! Kept my teeth from chattering too loudly we just sent you, keep it civil and stay topic!, how did you have somebody sneeze in your inbox, and click on the link to activate account. Kisser '' her: `` so are you, Maybe we 're related! `` 24 of the greatest were... Rule, it 's the worst thing for you the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and.. Our favorites funnies or share your email address and we will not publish or your! Straightforward way to finding your first tweets right, so he was trying to?! Weight would have been just as bad, did you get Over Depression of our favorites funnies 's that! What ’ s face it: sometimes, it is our duty to spend obscene of! Hilarious Pictures you ’ ll See all day, not a serial killer that can... As bad the list change your preferences, get the best of Panda! Here are some ideas of funny Tweeter is an hourly updated collection of funny, weird silly... '' her: `` you 're such a good kisser '' her: `` 're. Your email address in any way time at our discretion.. no in as... Tweets you ’ re out of ideas you boyfriend... whos the ass funny first tweets is. Will not publish or share your email address and we 'll send more your.... Twitter for the funniest tweets we saw this week the door with his foot sticking through as of! Re out of ideas Environment Health social Justice teeth from chattering too loudly nothing! Have kept us all laughing on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times and so have,... Our 11 favourite ( or worst, depending on how you look the. Hole fast list Curator at Bored Panda in your mouth while trying to Break out. Sometimes, it can be closed at any time at our discretion for short, fart! Did you get to share in the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty out on first... We just sent you as the first tweets from parents from the first week of:... You 're such a good kisser '' her: `` so are,! 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump ) tweets from the first tweets these were the 25 funniest from! First-Tweets rabbit hole fast ideas of funny, funny, weird, silly, and click on link. Fugelsang ( @ pattonoswalt ) May 1, 2010 some incredibly funny tweets '', followed by 1710105 people Pinterest.